The broccoli says I look like a small tree the mushroom says I look like an umbrella the walnut says I look like a brain and the banana says Can we please change the subject.

Funny witty quotes about life. -Jack Handey Life is hard. Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life. More than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness.

- Oscar Wilde. I always wanted to be somebody but now I realize I should have been more specific. -John Wayne I love sleep.

No one looks back on their life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep. -Ernest Hemingway Be excellent and party on dudes. Life is full of many ironical aspects that are beyond human comprehension.

One mans theology is another mans belly laugh Robert Heinlein. Funny inspirational quotes for work and life 1. A clever man is one who never shows his cleverness to others its better to know what you think you know then not to know nothing at all A balanced diet means a cookie in both hands.

If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life vest I would miss you so much- Anonymous Better a witty fool than a foolish wit William Shakespeare Whether you think you can or think you cant youre right- Henry Ford. Its some place a truth of life however when its associated with youngsters it gets diverting. My life has the tendency to fall apart when Im awake you know.

Children arent happy with nothing to ignore and thats what parents were created for. The child is taught to talk and walk and it takes about two years and the rest of the parents life is occupied by shouting to them to be silent and sit. Showing search results for Witty Life Random Funny sorted by relevance.