It’s Friday and I have the day off.

I hardly slept last night.  Ahhhhh.  I need sleep!

“you have impossible demands.”  I’m starting to think that I do…

I’ve been spending most of my time doing a lot of procrastinating, specially when it comes to doing my readings and quizzes for school.  Ugh.  I don’t feel like doing a damn thing.

Happy birthday to my bro.  Kudos to you for surviving all the beat downs I gave you while we were growing up.

I got an e-mail from a coworker.  He was diagnosed with lymphoma and isn’t doing well.  He doesn’t know if he’ll live past this year, but he’s going to be positive about this and do as much as he can in whatever time he has left.  I could learn from him.

I went back to visit the llama w/my mom.  I don’t know why but I find this particular llama very calming.  All it does is sit with its mini harem of geese and chill.  It makes me happy looking at it.  I wonder if it knows that?

Not sure if this is an ewe or a ram?  But whatever it is, it’s got something big and long hanging down between the back hind legs.  Testicles or udders?  You tell me…

I’m wide awake….

My therapist said, “You have problems with relationships and attaching/detaching.”
I told him, “I know.  It’s a huge problem.  More than you can imagine…”
I didn’t want to talk about it any further…so we just left it at that.

But the bigger problem is my abandonment issues.

I don’t feel like writing about it here…right now.  Maybe later.  I’ve got a lot going through my brain.

Tagged by Pranksabunches.

With the recent report of N. Corea planning to send a missile towards Hawaii, here are my top ten ways to prevent an Armageddon from occurring.

10. Give my mom a one-way ticket to Pyongyang and let her cluck at KJI to death.

9.   If he’s allergic to cats, send a boatload of long-haired cats to KJI’s crib to induce an anaphylactic shock.

8.   Force him to listen to Heidi Montag’s music over and over and over, ad. nauseum.

7.  Put him in a ring with Lyoto Machida.

6.  Send Rachel Ray + Paula Dean over to cook for KJI.  YUM-O!  Nothing says country cooking like 100 lbs of lard.

5.  Introduce him to Dr. Conrad Robert Murray, Michael Jackson’s cardiologist.

4.  Hold his sons and daughter as hostage.

3.  Hook him up with World of WarCraft.  That ought to keep him busy until the year 2020.

2.  Drop a Daisy Cutter on KJI’s face.

1.  Super glue his penis to his scrotum and then show him naked pictures of Hyori.

I tag everyone

1. I did end up eating lunch with my brother after I threw my hissy fit.
I use the word “eat” loosely.
We went to a local fish joint.
Fish joint.
I ordered a chicken taco and fries.
I wasn’t feeling fish yesterday.
Hell, I wasn’t feeling food yesterday.

The chicken taco looked like it was involved in a bukkake fest.

Fries were good and seasoned well.

I had a lot leftover.
I barely touched the food.
I ate the tortilla and some of the fries but that was pretty much it.
I wasn’t feeling the jizz taco and I let my brother take the fries with him.
Gross.

2. My boss must love to hear herself talk.  Talk talk talk talk talk.  I have to do two trainings and enroll in an extension class at a university.  Haha!  Like I don’t have enough shit to do.

3. DD2 x 3.  AWESOME!!!!
I have been pr0n free for a few days now…

4. I had the weirdest dream last night.  I dreamt that I was a secret agent and that Kim Jong Il hired assassins to take me out.  There was a beautiful femme fatale (looked a lot like Sienna Miller but sexier) and Aiden (from General Hospital) who was absolutely gorgeous.

Shut up.  I know this is crazy. but it’s my twisted dream.

They came to my house and dominated the rooms.  They kept my brother, my mom, and I separated from one another.  Aiden was asking me for the documents.  I refused to give it to him.  He took out my left eye with an icepick.  Ouch.  That hurt.  But they still weren’t getting the papers.  I laughed at him.  HAHAHA!  I still had one good eye left. Fucking guy.

Somehow, my useless brother was able to get in touch with help.  Allies quickly took over the house and a sniper shot both Aiden and the femme fatale in the head simultaneously.  I ran over to Aiden and he was still breathing.  I told him, “I’m sorry.”  He smiled at me and said, “I’m sorry too”.  And just as he was about to breathe his last breath, he shanked me a shiv, deep into my back and punctured my left kidney.

And then I woke up…WTF?  I wasn’t even taking Benadryl either.

Last night, I was I*REWWOER*YOREW*WIUHFWUEPAWEURW34R7372WEF7332INFUI!!!!!

There is no translation for that except OWEIROWEROWIEROWEIRW@!@$(*R#*R#(#UHRW!

Oh…and I totally sucked at Bejeweled last night because I was O*(#@$R@h*RW(E*REFO(*#@#&!!!

BTW, BJ thanks!

Fast forward to this morning.  I woke up at 0500 because I forgot to set my alarm for later in the morning.  I took half a day off because I had an appointment with my PCP at 1000.

Coworkers are texting me, wanting me to troubleshoot shit.  HELLO?  I AM NOT AT WORK!

I had strawberries for breakfast and a cup of coffee.  Taking my sweet ass time, enjoying the morning.

I got in my car and realized that I didn’t have my car keys.  I had everything else except for the fucking car keys (yesterday, my brother and I swapped back to our original cars but he conveniently forgot to give me back my keys). “Your car keys and stuff that were in my car are in your the car now, so don’t worry about it.”  YEAH!  Don’t worry about it my ass!!! Can’t let a guy do jack shit without a woman supervising!??

So, I’m running around the house like a crazy woman, breaking a sweat, trying to look for a spare and realized…OH FUCK.  I don’t even have a spare.  Why?  Because my dad had it but he’s dead now and didn’t tell us where he put it.  So now I don’t know where the fuck it is!

I called my brother frantically.

“I need my fucking keys.  I have a doctor’s appointment this morning and I have to go into work later today.”
“Did you try looking for the spare?”
“Listen dipshit.  If I had the spare, do you really think I’d be calling you right now?  Seriously?”
“Did you look in mom’s room?  She’s got a buncha keys there.”
“I looked but it’s dad’s old car keys that we donated to the auto mechanic school after he died.  Do you have my damn keys?”
“Oh…look.  I have your keys.  Ummm.”
“I have to call the doctor’s office to reschedule and work to let them know I’m going to be late.”
“Wait.  Ask them if they have an appointment available later today.”
“Don’t FedEx the keys.  I need them by this afternoon so I can go to work!”

I called to reschedule my appointment.  I had to tell the scheduling chick that I was having “car problems”.

I called my boss to let her know that I’d be late.  I told her the truth.  She laughed at me. HAHA REAL FUCKING FUNNY!!!!

A few minutes later my brother called, “Hey, I’m on my way right now.  Where are we going to eat lunch?”

Lunch?  Motherabitch.  Lunch is the furthest thing from my mind!

STUPID GUY!#@$ER#SRE)#W(*RFWIU

Billy Mays…RIP

Video of Billy Mays at a McDonald’s drive thru.  *lol*

This is Billy Mays!  Buy 1 get 1 free.  Throw in the hash browns for free.

Currently listening to: Bring Me To Life - Evanescence

Friday

The day started off with me witnessing a horrible car accident going in the opposite direction.  There’s no way the driver survived that hot mess.

I discussed my dream from last night with a colleague.  He asked me, “What do you think the dream meant?”  I replied, “If I knew, I sure as hell wouldn’t be asking you!”.  Then he told me that he dreamed of zombies.  He’d kill them but they’d keep coming back.  “Rosie, you dream about dirty dishes, I dream about zombies.  Our work is never done.  Oh yeah, and stop taking Benadryl.”

I received the most absurd call on my cell phone.  It was from Loehmann’s.  They wanted to know why I haven’t been shopping at their store lately.  LOL.  Are you fucking serious?  I told them that I was too busy to shop these days.  Which is the truth.  I haven’t gone to any of my hot spots in awhile…Macy’s, Nordstrom, Bloomingdales, Saks, or Loehmann’s.

My boss told me that she’s applying for her boss’s job (now currently vacant) and asked me if I wanted her job.  I told her “hell to the N-O”.  She tried enticing me with a raise.  I stood firm on my answer.  I want to have a life outside of work.  Then she said that maybe she could split her position in half or even in thirds with a raise.  That would be more doable…I told her I’d think about that.

I was minding my own business when a patient walked in front of me (not mine).  His gait was unsteady and suddenly, he was going down fast…collapsing.  Fuck.  No gait/transfer belt.  Ahh.  Calling for assistance would have taken too long.  I ran up behind him and grabbed him from underneath his armpits (with his arms flailing) and let him down slow.  A coworker who witnessed the act, ran up behind me and asked me if I was okay.  I thought it was funny that she was more concerned about me than the patient.

At first, I didn’t feel anything but I filed a incident report just in case.  My boss asked me if I wanted to go home.  I told her, “negative” and that I had a buncha paperwork I needed to finish up with.  We called HR and notified them of what happened.  I called my PCP’s office to schedule an appointment with her for a follow up.  Good thing I did because, midway through my shift, I started feeling sore and tender on the left side of my body.  Maybe I should have just let him fall, but my instincts took over, holding and grabbing the patient to prevent him from falling on his head. He clearly outweighed me.  I’m so stupid.

I felt a overwhelming sense of self-deprecation.  This was similar to what happened a few years ago…and it put me out of commission for nearly two years.

Foofie texted me that his contract has been extended until September.  I was relieved.

After work, I went to a friend’s party.  I had a couple of drinks, good enough to numb the pain, but not enough to get completely faded. Fun times…fun times.

When I got home, I crashed…with my clothes on.

Saturday

My brother woke me up by calling me.  He said that we were going somewhere.  Soon.

Fuck.  Back was aching badly.  I needed a massage. A body rub down.  I didn’t wanna be bothered today…at all.

I went back to sleep until my brother called me again, asking me where I was.  Ugh.  “I’m on my way”.

I met him at the car dealership to get his car an oil change.  He gave me back my car with the darkest tint put on the windows and a brand new windshield.  Nice.

He told me that we were going to a cheese farm.  I was down with that, considering that I spent a few years in the Dairy State and I’m not lactose intolerant.  I heart cheese.

Lots and lots of cows.

They had a bunch of samples of cheese: habanero, smoked, different aged cheeses, and garden variety.

No hormones and all natural ingredients.  They make all their cheese on site.

But I think the best part of the trip was seeing the llama.  I LOVE llamas.  I think it’s winking at me.

I can haz a llama?

I made a grilled cheese sandwich (with the cheese we bought today).  It was so good.  I wanted to eat another one but refrained.  I already had two pieces of toast earlier today.  And to eat more while my “manorexic” brother was home, would only prompt him to call me a ” 돼지” (pig).

I updated my plan for Verizon.  Stupid carrier, wish they’d have unlimited texting.  I used to have 500 texts per month and now I have 5,000 texts per month.  My coworkers, Foofie, StarCraft friends, and Crish especially LOVE texting me. I guess most people prefer texting over calling and talking on the phone.  Maybe it is time to update my phone to a QWERTY keyboard?

For the rest of the day, I was on the coach, texting friends and surfing the channels that were paying tribute to Michael Jackson.  I can’t believe how many good songs he had out. I really didn’t feel like doing anything today, except resting.

Over the past few days, I’ve been learning more and more about myself.  It seems like this happens whenever I learn more about others.  I, being the narcissistic person that I am, have to somehow relate everything back to me.  Situations, experience, and people have shaped me and this is what I’ve become.  Many of the revelations that I’ve uncovered were something that I’ve known for quite some time but didn’t want to address the issues with myself.  Many of which I wish I hadn’t discovered nor did I want to understand, but it’s too late now.

I tried falling asleep earlier than my usual time, but it wasn’t going well.  I ended up tossing and turning for most of the night.

My coworkers *urged* me to take something to make me sleep because I was turning into a raging bitch.

Last night I took Benadryl to fall asleep.

Too bad I feel asleep while my friend was telling me about his fucked up date. Haha!

I had a bizarre dream.  I dreamt that Batman, Buck, Buddy H and his Corean petite gf (5 feet and 90 lbs), and I were in New York staying with a girl we just met.  She’s a physician’s assistant.  When we entered her apartment, the place was fairly clean save for her kitchen.  She had five sinks that were completely full of grimy dishes that look as though they have been sitting there for weeks.  Every time I tried to wash one dish, more would pile up.  No one wanted to help me.  And then I woke up.

I woke up groggy.

*groan*

Work was overwhelming as usual.  I don’t know why I’m surprised anymore.

Even as I was leaving work, I was bombarded by calls from my boss.  While making phone calls to friends, she’d interrupt by calling me, forcing me to drop the call I was making in order to switch over to talk to her.  She called me x 5 while I was driving home about shit that needed to be done.  Fun.

Buck and I are back to talking to one another.  He’s working now.  He’s selling insurance (life + medical).  Maybe it’ll help him get outta his funk?

Can’t believe Farrah Fawcett & Michael Jackson died today.  It makes me wanna listen to old MJ songs like “Beat It” and “Billy Jean”.

I’m so glad tomorrow’s Friday.  So…so…glad…

A coworker bought me a ring.  LOL.  I don’t even need to shop for myself anymore.  People are doing it for me.  That’s awesome.

I’ve got a 650 cc fake silicon titty sample.  Just one.  Don’t ask me why.  I just do.

My mom told me in Corean about how I should get another sample and wear em to work.
Hahaha.
It doesn’t really matter when I’m wearing scrubs but if I were in my business attire, it would definitely be more noticeable.

Sometimes, I’m self-conscientious about my small rack.  Out of the Mensuh 3 crew, I have the smallest tits (34B).  Damn Areola and Penti have huge ass knockers. They’ve probably got C’s or D’s.  If they weren’t my friends, I would hate them with a passion.

Keep in mind, I’m using a padded push up Calvin Klein bra.

Once I inserted the silicon sample…it was like *BAM* busting out.

Too bad I’d never get fake boobs though.  I’m still traumatized from the strippers practically knocking me out with their concrete titties.

Has anyone had breast augmentations performed on them?

On Monday night, I had the time of my life.  Muhahahaha!  Thank God.  I was getting worried.  I got my rocks off x3…but then I couldn’t go to sleep.

I managed to get three hours of sleep at least. So this week, I’ve gotten a total of 4.5 hours.  Ugh.

There’s been a lot of restructuring in upper management.  People are fighting to keep their jobs.  Eventually, it all trickles down to me, even though I’m only in “lower” management.  But still.  One of the unit coordinators, her job is being eliminated.  Another coworker is transferring.  Another one will be going out on maternity leave.  And two other coworkers have resigned.  It’s hard to work with what I’ve got, considering it’s not a lot.  The number of patients remain the same while the staff dwindles down to the bare minimum.

I thought I was the only one with insomnia, turns out a couple of my coworkers are having that same issue too.  So much damn stress, I’m so wound up, tighter than a virgin, it’s not even funny.

Foofie’s an IT contractor so he’s all too familiar with this.  He’ll know Friday as to whether or not he will have a job.

While I was driving to work, I felt like a madwoman.  As if I wanted to be wild, untamed, feral, liberated.  I’m tired of being the responsible one, the go-getter, caregiver, the overachieving piece of shit.  No.  There’s more to life than being this boring ass person that I’ve become.  I’ve become complacent and too comfortable with where I am now.  I need to venture out.  Sure I get a great income and benefits that are excellent but there’s a price to pay for it.

Where is my excitement?  Where’s the adventure?  Ooh, yeah…here’s me driving 20+ over the speed limit.  Woohoo!  I’m such a rebel.  *rolls eyes*  There’s got to be more to life…than this.  God, I feel like I’m having a mid-life crisis or something.  No wonder men trade in their wives for younger models and women turn into cougars.

I went into work looking like a wild lion.  My mane was huge….Texas huge and I didn’t have any makeup on either.

A coworker looked at me and said, “Don’t rent out space into your head to people who don’t pay rent.”  I should take that into consideration.

My lab results all came within normal limits (WNL).  I’m gonna ask them for a copy of the results for my own records.

I had to do an annual self-evaluation today.  HAH!  Last year, I was given the best marks. But since I’m doing my own this year, I gave myself excellent scores for critical and clinical work, but as far as being a supportive team member and all that bullshit crap, I gave myself a shitty score.  I hate politics in management.  I instigate shit all the damn time and I tell my colleagues off (yes, even doctors).  Burnt out?  Maybe, but it keeps people on their toes and it prevents me from looking like a chump, having people dump all their work on me.  People try to take advantage of me because I’m the youngest.  Asshats.  I’ve got to spread the joy around, so everyone gets a piece.

I had a patient today trying to patronize me…stroke me…attempt to seduce me.  Stupid.  I had him transferred off my patient load.  He will now have a MALE nurse.  Take that and rewind it back…

I had dinner at Jamba Juice.  Now they have actual food there (only in California stores, the rest of you will just have to wait).  I ordered the “Four Cheesey” flatbread (330 calories) and 16 oz Strawberry Nirvana (160 calories).

Went to my hip hop class today.  I totally slacked off and didn’t go at all last week.  I had fun except for this new girl who was fucking up every routine.  I wanted to punch her in the face.  If you don’t know the routines, then start out in the back.  Don’t go in the front, looking stupid, and grinning at yourself in the mirror. I thought I’d be exhausted afterwards but I’m not.  What…the…fuck?

Maybe a little StarCraft will help me…

I only slept 1.5 hours today.  Why?  Because for almost four hours, I tried getting my rocks off and failed miserably.  That’s why.

When I got to work, a coworker asked me what was wrong with my eyes.
Yeah, they’re extra chinky today due the lack of sleep.
I told my boss that my sleeping schedule these days have been wack.
I didn’t give her the specifics…obviously.
She told me not to worry about it.
I thought to myself, “Yeah sure…not worry about my mojo.”
Easier said than done.
Then told me that we should go to the spa after work.
Crazy woman…doesn’t she know that I’m exhausted?
I don’t have time for that crap…

I had two interns that I was precepting for.

I skipped a meeting to finish up on an assignment.

By the end of the day, I was totally spent.

Today, I’ll stop watching porn for two weeks…see if that helps. Tomorrow, I’ll stop diddling myself with my toys.

Depressing…I know, but this is what it’s come down to.

Everything’s off-kilter.  I have to focus about other things instead of this “issue”.  I feel like I’m in a really bad episode of Kung Fu.
“When you can take the pebble from my hand, it will be time for you to leave.”

Anyway, I’ll stop whining like a little bitch about it.  You’ll know when the time has passed.

A coworker got me presents from her trip.

Okay…so what’s up with everyone flaking on me this weekend?  Another friend and I were supposed to meet up today but it didn’t happen for whatever reason.

I went to Bruegger’s for brunch.

I had the Herby bagel sandwich.

Chicken spaetzle soup.

Then I went to Trader Joe’s and got my mom two Phalaenopsis plants.

Then it was off to cleaning the closets.

Closet #1.  I share this one with my brother.

Closet #2.

Closet #3.

First three people to get the Club Monaco bracelets: Starfoxx, Areola, and Julie.  It’ll be mailed out on Saturday.

I’m still working on my mojo…

Thanks Mary for the e-mail.

Happy Father’s Day.
I miss you.
And I’ll never forget you.

<3

P.S.  I’m working on the 2005 archives.

Woke up only because Las Ninas called.  They had to cancel…again.  La Nina #1 was sick and had an appointment with her doctor.

I stayed in bed for another thirty minutes before getting up.

Went downstairs and had spaghetti (with rice noodles) and toasted jalapeno bread for brunch.

It was time to clean…it’s what I do best.

The bathroom:
I filled the tub with hot water and Clorox bleach.
I scrubbed it until it was gleaming white.
Lining of the shower curtains were put in the washing machine w/bleach.  Washed x 2.
I used Clorox bleach and antibacterial wipes to clean the counter.
Clorox bleach was used again for cleaning the toilet.
I swept and mopped the floor.
Cleaned the mirror with Windex.
All the drawers were wiped down.
I reorganized all the drawers accordingly.

Total time spent = two hours

I used old jewelery boxes to store my eye and lip makeup & other utensils.

The reorganization continued with the rest of my jewelery.

Bracelets.  All 107 of them.

Necklaces and pendants (51 items).

Ugh.  I have too much stuff.  I’ve decided to give away three of my Club Monaco clear bracelets.

First three people to e-mail me their address to: rosieyatch@gmail.com will get a bracelet.

Dinner = strawberries.

StarCraft awaits…

“Fuck this place!  This is the worst fucking job ever!” and she stormed out of the unit and quickly exited the building.

*insert the song “Another One Bites the Dust” by Queen*

Great.  Walk out and leave your patients like that.  Heard of “Patient Abandonment”?  Whatever, I’m so over her.

I thought it would be over with, done, finished…finito…but no. The retarded hooker came BACK begging for her job.

What…the…fuck.  I didn’t sign up for this bullshit crazy ass backwards freak of nature shit.

Now HR is all over this situation.  Yeesh.  If you can’t handle the heat, then get the fuck outta the kitchen.

I’ve reinstalled StarCraft on my laptop.  Leave me a comment if you want to play (please include your IM so I can contact you).

My goal this weekend is to finish cleaning, beading, and meet up with Las Ninas.  Oh yeah, not to mention some R&R and total domination in SC.

I’m not a huge Taylor Swift fan (although I really do like some of her songs: Love Song & White Horse), but I have to admit this video is hilarious.

I don’t know which part is the funniest…the Star Trek skit or her being a white girl rapper w/T-Pain…

Thug Story

Mojo

Me: i lost my mojo
Cherry: ???  as in you don’t want to boink?
Me: ya, wassup w/dat?
Cherry: idk i haven’t used mine in so long i don’t think it works anymore either
Me: shiet it died
Cherry: i should commit myself to a monastery. dead and buried. but no mojo? dudee, is that even possible? try pr0n
Me: I DID
Cherry: always gets the juices going
Me: TWO HOURS OF IT
Cherry: well, for me anyway
Me: GAH
Cherry: see that’s the problem, you’re watching the wrong kind
Me: i watch almost everything
Cherry: animalistic bondage who love big asses part 12 doesn’t do much for anyone outside of a certain niche audience

Maria Ozawa + Roast Beef

Me: even maria ozawa can’t help me
Cherry: she’s so hot. probably so loose it’d be like sticking a hot dog in the grand canyon, but who cares? she’s hot!
Me: pahuahuahu she’s got roast beef
Cherry: nasty, i haven’t heard that in awhile
Me: roast beef curtains
Cherry: i’ll never look at quizno’s the same again. hey look! my sandwich looks like a pussy!
Me: give her some wd-40
Cherry: it’s almost like a Korean drama so much crying. wd-40…great for rusty bolts, worn out joints, and Japanese women!

Japanese Porn School

Cherry: i wonder if they learn to moan like that in school
Me: i think so at the “learn to moan like a japanese porn star” seminar
Cherry: sure, and it comes right after “kissing or slobbering: it gets the job done 101″
Me: and those are all prerequisites for the “bukakke anthology”
Cherry: bukkake anthology, geez. how to suck on a tongue while trying to make it look sexy. i mean, we use the term tonsil hockey, but they took it to a whole new level. watching them try to french kiss is like watching a battle scene from braveheart. left! right! left! right!
Me: i know, right? FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM!!!!
Cherry: freaking windshield wipers. i wonder if you can bruise your tongue?

Trance Pr0n

Me: OMG THIS PORN IS SO FUNNY! THEY’RE PLAYING TRANCE MUSIC
Cherry: wow
Me: http://xhamster.com/movies/143536/sexy_japanese_chick_sqiurts_alot.html
Cherry: are they on beat?
Me: omfeckingod
Cherry: HOLY CRAP
Me: phuahuahuahua can you hear that shit? fuck me, this is hilarious
Cherry: i watched 3 seconds and…DID YOU SEE THE SIZE OF THAT FREAKING THING? WHY IS IT THAT LONG?!
Me: what thing?
Cherry: that dildo they’re…uh…massaging her with…massage might be a very loose term
Me: oh pauhahuahu i thought you were talking about the roast beef action again
Cherry: it’s so long you can cook smores on that thing from 20 feet away
Me: pahuahuahu shieet but did you hear the trance song?
Cherry: dude, what’s with the power tool?
Me: phuahuahuahua
Cherry: *thump**thump*squeek**squeek*thump**thump* “the system…is down” “they system…is down” *squeek**squeek**cry* “the system…is down”
Me: dood watching that porn makes me wanna drop. PLUR!!!!!!!!!!
Cherry: PLUR?
Me: e-tard talk, peace love unity respect

Crew Pr0n Nights

Cherry: you can always talk about our old porn nights
Me: pahuahuahua omg! i forgot about that! especially the one where they were at a gym
Cherry: GAHAHAHAHAH…seriously…who the hell does that besides us? how screwed up are we that we actually got together as a big group to watch and laugh at porn?
Me: pahuahuahuahu fuck i know
Cherry: man
Me: geezus
Cherry: it’s amazing we never let it degenerate into something worse. although, on a slightly serious note, i guess that says something when you get a group of friends together and watch porn without anyone feeling awkward
Me: we’re tight like dat
Cherry: good friends, word up
Me: werd

Late.  Fucking late.

I’m late. I’m late.  For a very important date.  No time to say “hello”.  Goodbye.  I’m late, I’m late, I’m late.

Ran into the shower.
Washed my face, body, and cooter.

Called my PCP’s (primary care physician) office and said that I was running 10 minutes behind.  They said they would have me fill out the paperwork during my assessment.

The new PCP is cool.  She’s Asian, young, and hyped.  To be honest, I think she had one too many cups of coffee but it’s all good.  I wish I had coffee in my system this morning.  *le sigh*  I told her that I just wanted a physical for the new year.  We didn’t do any of that forced chitty chat crap that I had to with my old PCPs.  We got straight to the point.  Boom boom boom, seven minutes later, I was out the door and on my way to the lab to get my labs drawn.

The lab was hell.  I mean what the hell?  There were at least 30 people in the waiting room.  I was contemplating on whether or not I could get them to give me a butterfly needle or a syringe along with a couple of vials to draw up my own blood.  I have to admit, I draw up some mean blood.  It’s a good skill to have.  I fasted the night before.  Hell, I hadn’t eaten for 17 hours.  17 hours.  My stomach was growling furiously.  It was embarrassing.  People stared at me, as if they wanted me to calm it the fuck down.

TENGO HAMBRE MOTHERFUCKERS!
Draw my blood so I can put on the feedbag!

Two hours later…they were FINALLY ready…to…draw…my…blood.  Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  I could have hurt someone if I only had the energy.

People hate doing venipunctures on me.  Ever since I was little, they’ve had a hard time getting me.  I remember being seven years old and having medical assistants puncture me four times before my mom told them that they were stupid and that she could draw it better than any of them.  There was another time when a phlebotomist told me that they might have to get the blood from my leg.  Umm…no.  The least amount of times I’ve been stuck was two.  I congratulated her.  Anyway, I digress.  The phlebotomist looked at my medial cubital veins.  She frowned.  I told her, “I’m a hard stick”.  I didn’t want her blowing my veins.  That was a *hint* for her to draw it from my hand.  It hurts more but it’s a one shot deal and I don’t have to deal with her trying to restick me.

She followed my cue and drew the blood from my hand.  Two vials.  Butterfly needles are easy to use especially when drawing blood.  It was practically painless.

It’s gonna have a nice contusion tomorrow.

Freedom.  Finally.

I got in my car and headed towards the greasy spoon…AKA In-N-Out.

Thanks Jose!

I ordered the number 2: cheeseburger animal style, fries well (extra crispy), and a diet Coke.

Damn.  It’s a shame that I live in California but only eat at this fine establishment once a year.  *burrrrp*

Then I went to the post office and finally mailed everything out, priority mail.  Inny, be expecting your key and cd soon.

Hmm…cupcakes.  A store nearby was promoting their cupcakes.  I went in and got two of them for my coworkers.

Red Velvet + Carrot Cake w/cream cheese.

Yeah…those cupcakes will never make it to my coworkers.  HAHAHA!  I opened the box and took two bites out of each of them.  They were alright, the carrot cake was definitely better cupcake.  I threw the rest of the cupcakes away.  *gasp* Yes, I do waste a lot and I know there are starving children in Africa, China, N. Corea, and all that.

I cleaned out my cat’s shit box.  Ever since I got the crystal cat box filler to mix in with the kitty litter, there’s been a significant decrease in the stench rising from her shit box.

It took me an hour to reorganize my shoes.  I have 66 pairs (more are buried somewhere in my closet).  I had a lot more last year but I donated several pairs to the Good Will. But honestly, can a woman really have too many pairs of shoes?  It would be a dream to have the closet Carrie Bradshaw had in the “Sex In the City” movie.  Maybe when I hit 200 pairs…

Then I reorganized my rings.  I have 75 of them, not including the one that I’m currently wearing.

That’s enough for today.  This weekend will be the bathroom, closets, and other accessories.

I want to drop kick her in the face!

Death, it’s inevitable.  One day, we’re all going to die.  People die every damn day.

We had a catered lunch today.  It was a surprise…nice.

My cat vomited all of Saturday and half of Sunday.  She didn’t throw up today, so that’s good.  She’s not as active as she used to be.  All she wants to do now is sleep and eat canned tuna or treats.  If she doesn’t make any progress soon, I’m going to have to take her to the vet.

Me: back again
El Nino #3: F I N A L L Y damn…keep a dude waiting this long?  Who do you think you are?
Me: phuaahuhua whatcha been up 2
El Nino #3: seriously, like I just sat here hoping you’d tell me you’re back so I could breathe again
Me: i know right?
El Nino #3: Luckily I can hold my breath for an extraordinary amount of time

El Nino #3: so in a night of drunken haze, I joined match.com
Me: oh shit
El Nino #3: oh yea
Me: and what happened?
El Nino #3: I’m pimp mac daddy of match
Me: so how many chicks did you get matched w/
El Nino #3: lots and lots
Me: so you gonna go thru it?  call the honeys?  it’s harvest time

After work, I was able to catch up with an old StarCraft buddy, who’s now an officer for the NYPD, during my commute back home.  Funny to hear that our little clan (four of us) are still single.  None of us have married.  We should have a reunion!

When I got home, he was at the house.  He, being the *exclusive* agent.  Yeah, whatever the hell that means. It’s funny, when I first saw him, he reminded me of El Nino #2.  Haha.  Weird.  He coulda been his daddy or something.  Anyway, he’s been helping my mom put her assets in order.  When he told me about my mom’s net worth, I was like…wow, forrils?  She ain’t no Bill Gates but she did well, I was impressed.  I had him look at my portfolio and assets as well.  He said overall, I did a good job managing it on my own and suggested that I should get a living trust too.  He joked that if he needed money, he knew who to go to.  Sullung.  Next month, we’ll tie up the loose ends and have it finalized by an attorney.  It’s all so morbid if I sit and think about it…

I’ve changed my PCP (primary care physician).

He’s a fucking numbnut.

The end.

I lied.
I hung out with Foofie over the weekend.
We didn’t do much, but then again, I was okay with that.  I just needed a break…

We:

Ate

• Bollini’s
• Foofie’s cooking (I’m really not sure what it was)
• I-Hop

Hung out w/Pedro & Krystiana

Pissed

Played

• Plants vs Zombies

• Starcraft

Shit

Slept

Talked

I’ve lost my mojo.  If you find it, please return it to me.  Thanks.

Currently watching: House

Friday couldn’t get here soon enough.  Jesus, it was like I was in a time warp going backwards. I’ve been wanting it to be Friday since Monday.

A coworker bought me breakfast from Denny’s.  OMG, I haven’t had Denny’s in ages.  I had pancakes, eggs, and sausage links.  Mmmm.

One of the doctors I dislike was out.  Why?  Who the hell cares.  It must be my lucky day.

We had catered lunch from California Pizza Kitchen.  Too bad I was full from my breakfast.

I was also given a treat.

Hip hop class was full today.  Ugh.  I hate it when newbies join and they’re bumping into me.

I saw a therapist for the second time.  Mostly because Bootie Pie is no longer in the country and it is harder to get in touch with him now.  Of course I had to check his credentials, over 20 years of experience in clinical trials and research, private practice, and hospital privileges.  He also has extensive experience with the Asian culture.

I liked what I saw so I handpicked him.

I talked about a lot of things with him

Mommy issues: role reversal, I feel like she’s the daughter and I’m the mother.  Our relationship with one another.  Her clucking.  Her neverending expectations of me.

Daddy issues: the loss and how he died, scared of losing the memories I’ve had with him.

Brother issues: mostly of him being my mom’s favorite, our awkward relationship, and his lack of involvement in the care of my mom.

My own issues: feeling like a fuck up sometimes, anger, unresolved issues from past and current relationships, inability to connect with others on a transcendental level, physical pain, witnessing so much trauma at work, stress at work and home, and thoughts of me turning into someone like my mom as I get older.

Foofie: his anger and our relationship.

He did a lot of listening while I vented.  I can’t say that it was enlightening but he gave me a lot to think about.  This shit was pretty deep.  He definitely put things into perspective.  I’ll see him again next week.

“65 Questions You’ve Probably Never Been Asked…

Sorry, the nerd in me is coming out…long entry.

I started chatting when I got my first unix account.  My childhood friend taught me how to IRC (Internet Relay Chat).  It was the most addicting thing I’ve ever encountered.  I spent countless hours of sitting in front of the computer, absorbing everything that was being typed.

It was great.  I could talk to everyone all at once on the channel or I could message them privately. Hell there were times when I would join three or four channels concurrently.

Efnet.  Undernet.  Dalnet.

#korea, #asian, #chopsticks, #azian, #korean, #ihatethatfuglybitch, and etc.

Everyone on there were students, just like me.  Most of them were from UIUC, Temple, Rutgers, UMich, West Point, or UVA.  Half of them skipped classes just to chat.  People actually flunked out of school or lost their scholarships because of IRC.  Every damn user on there had drama.  There was always gossip.  It was like watching 100 Corean dramas unfold simultaneously.  People had no filter and wrote what they were doing or thinking.

People befriended one another.  Made enemies.  Hooked up.  Broke up.  Knocked up.  Married one another. Reunited with old friends.

The older and more experienced guys would teach me basic commands.  They would also give me access to their accounts.  They would invite me to their +s (secret channels) or give me +o (ops) or +v (voice).  I have to admit though, there were times when I abused my powers and would AKB (auto kick ban) people who I found annoying or had no tolerance for.

I think the best command I ever knew was when I’d go into my shell account: screen, screen -r.  Screen allowed me to detach from the chat without my screen name ever leaving the channel.  I could turn off my computer, go to class, and come back hours later by typing screen -r and appear as though I had never left.  I could scroll up and see what people had typed while I was away or see messages that people had left me.

My other favorite commands were:
/finger
I used this when I was at the computer lab once and found out the guy who was messaging me was sitting only a few feet away from me.  He was fugly so I stopped talking to him. Haha.
/g2
This was used to flood the channel.  To annoy people.
/ping
Sometimes messages would take forever to get to the person so by pinging them, you could tell if they were ignoring you or if it was a problem with the server.
/whois
I could figure out what school the person was logging in from.
/ignore
This is self-explanatory.

People thought I lived on IRC.  And I did. I was an IRC junkie.  This shit should have come with a warning label.

I did meet a few cool people from IRC, most of whom are still my friends to this day.

I’ve met my fair share of crazy fuckers too.

“byungari”.  She lost her volleyball scholarship at UMass., got kicked out of school, moved home, then ranaway from home when her mom took away her computer.  She called me one day out of the blue and asked me to send her money.  I told her “no”.  Since then, no one has heard from her.

“riceball”.  Taiwanese guy who thought he was God’s gift to women.  At first, it was shits and giggles.  A rich FOB trying to hit on me but then he ended up stalking me.  Gross.  He was attending USC and managed to put my picture on their network (he used to work in the computer lab).

From 1998:

Riceball: rice is powerful…it was used to glue together the wall of china…i didn’t invent rice…i started the rice revolution…the usage of the term rice for power.

Riceball: sook (my Corean name) is on!!! yeeeha!!! You are the beautifulest girl i’ve ever seen!!!! sook aka rosie!!!! Soook!!!! your name fits you so much!!! you sook sooky?  Sook your name is so asian…i lub u!!!!

From 2001:

Riceball: rosie you are elephants standing in my rating!!!! liemo…please find rosie and pork her for me!!!! rosie…i can get any man to do you.  rosie you pork belly soon…you just wait…sookie sookie…me want u long time!!!

Riceball: wundedst…you think rosie can play?  she’s no player.  in order to find a wife you must have a stud hood of a stud.

Riceball: rosie let that hate turn in the obsession with me!!!! Rosie you know you workship me and you will die without me.  let grease be the lub for you…rosie!!!! rosie…let your inner emotion out…it’s not good for you to bottle it up for years…you want me…let it out…orgaz it out girl.

Riceball: rosie an elephant never forgets…it’s an honor.  rosie!!!! let the elephants be with you!!!! rosie i know at night you dream of me.

Riceball: i am actually working on an asp page…it’s going to have everthing that happened between me and rosie and other’s i’ve met.  girl…you are so miss informed not even a fartingdog would pay attention to you.

Riceball: rosie i’m going to charm through you *twist**turn* if you want you can i get you will meet face to face right in front of your first long beach birth home.   if we hook up…the bed would rock till it breaks…you got so much to release.

Riceball: rosie you are the first girl i’ve met that’s not so materialistic…you and i will be good together…i am sure.

From 2002:

Riceball: hi rosie still in texas?  you there? you there? wake up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Riceball: i got you rpicture on the usc network…damn it i have accomplished your fame!! damn it. i made you what you are today!! girl…it takes more than a nut to be putting your picture in the network and getting suspended for it…it was worth it everybody asked me who you were.

Riceball: you know when a man is single he is free to do whatever he wants and what does a single man with cash do? i’m going to travel first to new york, after new york i’m going to texas…i’m trying to locate your location in texas.

Riceball: i know you were first in university of minesota when we first met then you changed schools because there werent any cute guys there.

In 2005:

Riceball: can you have rosie message me?  hello?
5000: i don’t think she will
Riceball: she will or invite her to an aim room

Me: gross, hell no, fuck that motherfucker and his mail order bride
5000: he wanted to talk with you. seems rather determined.
Me: i don’t wanna talk to that tool

Riceball: tell her i want to talk to her…come on it’s been like 10 years already
5000: she said no
Riceball: just invite her
5000: she said no
Riceball: come on it’s been like 10 years already
5000: she said no
Riceball: just invite her
5000: she said no
Riceball: hey
5000: hi
Riceball: i haven’t talked to her in 10 years can you try and help out?

5000: just say hello and i think he’ll go away
Me: fuck that
5000: hah well at least he’ll leave me alone about it
Me: screw that just block his ass

5000: she won’t do it man
Riceball: she knows me and i know her
5000: she says she doesn’t wanna talk to you tho
Riceball: i’ll give you pictures of fine looking girls
5000: i have that
Riceball: i know them
5000: same here
Riceball: just invite her come on

5000: he must really love you
Me: he can kiss my yellow ass
5000: i think he loves you or something
Me: he can rot in hell

In 2007, someone gave him my IM screen name.   Seriously. I’ve been trying to avoid the motherfucker for years and I thought I was successful but apparently fucking not.

Pinche Ricedick.

Riceball: hi rosie are you still in california?
Me: are you still stalking me
Riceball: i’m in korea now
Me: good i hope you die there
Riceball: how can i stalk you from here? hey come on.  you remember me right?  how time flies right?
Me: yeah what a trip charles.  you’re retarded.  i hope you choke on some guy’s nuts.
Riceball: so where do you live now?
Me: you ain’t gotta know
Riceball: i have been traveling between japan and korea
Me: i’m ignoring u now
Riceball: for the past 5 years
Me: bye bye fag boy
Riceball: wait rosie…hey oppa buy you some ice cream ok?
*ignored*

Since then, I’ve had to change my IM screen name.  That was tres annoying.

Anway, the bottom line is that I had fun on IRC, during its peak.  Eventually people graduated, got married, started living in the real world, or went offline.  But every once in awhile, I’ll wonder about them and wonder what they’re up to.

I’m rambling now…lack of oxygen going to the brain…need to end this post…

Cheers to everyone who IRC’d (except riceball)!

Last night, I fell asleep at 1930.  I didn’t wake up until 0500.

I needed it desperately.

Rape victims.
They come with contusions all over their bodies.
Lacerations to their perineal/perianal regions.
Objects pushed into their vaginas and anuses.
Bottles, bats, racquets, fists, or whatever the attacker can get a hold of.
At times, packed feces is found inside the vagina.
Sick and twisted.
They’ve been violated on so many levels, it’s hard for me to come up with anything comforting to say.
I’m glad it’s not me.  Is that selfish?
Mentally, they’re fucked up.  Will they be able to come back to sanity?
They strike out and/or abuse the staff.
They cry and often times want to kill themselves.
They have nightmares about the incident.
They relive it time and time again.
Narcotics, analgesics, antibiotics, anti-inflammatory medications.
Lifelong scars.

Burn victims.
Burning flesh.
It falls apart, exposing the subdermal area.
It makes me feel a little nauseous.
First, second, third, fourth degree burns.
They scream during debridement.
Damage done to the bone, vessels, bone, and tissues.
Eschar.
Medications don’t even help, they still feel it.
Hypovolemia.
Electrolytes.
Infections.
Grafting.
It’s so extreme that they are induced into a coma.
Lifelong scars.

Saturday

Drove over to Foofie’s.  Hey, can you believe it?  I’m getting 476 miles per full tank of gas, granted I do a lot of coasting.

Anyway, Foofie had nachos ready to go for me by the time I got there.  Yum.

I ended up chillin’ at his place until it was dinner time.  I spent most of the time watching the Military channel about Genghis Khan and Hannibal, the general for the Cathaginians.

ODB grilled up burgers and dogs, using a rub called “Butt Rub”.

I called it an early night.  I had an attack of the mensuh and it sure wasn’t pretty.

Sunday

Happy birthday, Pedro!

I woke up twice during the night to switch out my tampons.  It was like the Suwanee River.  I woke Foofie up at 0900 and made him go to CVS to buy me a box of Playtex super plus tampons. Not just super…but super plus.

“Baby, where’s the nearest CVS?”
“Around here…why?”
“I need you to go to CVS for me.”
“I’ll drive you?”
“No, you go for me.  I’m bleeding like Niagra Falls here.”
“Niagra Falls isn’t bloody…”  And then he went back to sleep.

He eventually went and came back with the tampons.

Buster came and told me about his night.  A fat Asian girl was blabbing about how she drives a BMW and owns a house.  Then she called Buster a chink.  The irony.  An Asian girl calling an Asian guy a chink.  Buster rolled up in a Porsche and said, “I drive a Porsche.  What now bitch?” and drove off, laughing hysterically.  Shits and giggles.

Le Les, Portia (she has a Porsche, also the girlfriend of Le Les), Buster, ODB + his gf, Foofie, and I went to Sprinkles in Beverly Hills.

Prompt parking.  No line.  No joke. I was a happy girl.

Coffee.  Must.  Have.  Coffee.

The box of goodies.

Left: peanut butter chip.
Right: red velvet.

I ate about half of a cupcake because it was so rich, plus it had a lot of frosting on top.  Foofie had to finish the rest for me.

Then we walked over to Pinkberry.

Original w/mango + mochi.  It’s been awhile since I’ve had Pinkberry, but for some reason, it tasted extra good today.

Portia wanted to go to the Gucci store.  I had to refrain.  She said, “Just go and look.”  I scoffed, “Just look?  Me?”  Obviously, she doesn’t know me very well.  If I had gone into the store with her, I would have come out with at least a few thousand dollars worth of shit that I can’t fit into my already overflowing closets (three of them).  Portia, Le Les, and Buster headed down Rodeo Drive while the rest of us went home.  Midway home, I called Buster to see what he bought.  He said they made a detour into the Cartier store.  Damn them.  I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t go.  Meh.

I was multitasking, reading the news online and watching television, when all hell broke loose.  Foofie was playing one of his first person shooting games (similar to Counter-Strike) when all the sudden, he ripped the mouse out of his desktop and threw it across the way, destroying his mouse.  Fuck.  Here we go again with his stupid tantrums.  I got up from my seat immediately and faced him.  We were within inches from one another.  I looked at him scornfully.  I’ve seen this type of behavior from him 3-4 times since we’ve been together (two years).

“What the fuck was that for?”
“Nothing.”
“The hell it was.  Who the fuck does that?  You’ve got some serious issues.  What the hell is your problem?”

I guess most girls would either coward away from that sort of thing, but I’m not one to back down so easily.  Maybe, I was looking for a fight?  Call it bravery, crazy, or ignorance.  I stood my ground, ready to punch him in the damn throat if need be.  Yes.  I have punched him in the past (I gave him warnings which he decided not to heed), bringing him down to his knees from the pain.

He became really quiet and apologized for his outburst.  He looked like a little kid who got caught doing something he shouldn’t have done.  I decided to step outside and cool down, I slammed the patio door as I left.  He immediately followed after me.  He tried hugging me and soothing me but I was beyond angry at this point.  I was in a full blown rage.  No doubt that we both have anger issues, but mine is somewhat controlled (for the most part), whereas his explosions are more turbulent and violent.

I told him to leave me alone.  I was so furious that he ruined a near perfect weekend for me and that he could not govern his own anger.  He went back inside, while I practiced Tae Kwon Do punches outside.  I told him that I was going to go home.  He begged me not to.  Held me tight and promised not do to that again.  I told him that *THIS* would be his last and final warning.  I don’t need to put up with this fucking shit.  This was exactly what his mom had warned me about.  His wrath.  But this is where it stops.  This is it.  No more excuses.  I specifically told him today that if I see that type of behavior one more time, I am going to punch him in the face, take all my things, tell him that it was over between us, and leave. No joke.

Then the emo side of me came out.  I blame it purely on my bloody monthly visitor.  I was so upset that I cried.  I cried because of his intermittent explosive behavior.  I cried because he made me want to vomit my Pinkberry + Sprinkles.  I cried because my cramps were kicking me in the ass.  I cried because he ruined the whole weekend for me.  I cried because…well hell because I felt like crying.  Fucker.

After about ten minutes, I eventually calmed down.  He profusely apologized.  I looked at him with a devilish grin.  I jokingly said, “Maybe, I should just make you buy something from the Gucci store for me.  $1,000 minimum purchase.”  He groaned.  Wait…I had to focus dammit.  That would be letting him off easily.  And money cannot buy everything.  Not my feelings, nor my respect.  Again, I warned him that this would be the last time I witness his hysteria.

He made me a promise to get rid of three of his CRT monitors.  He’s got a total of five CRTs and four flat screens.  He doesn’t need all that shit.  This ain’t no fucking PC Bang.  It’s cluttering his damn room and it’s making me feel claustrophobic.

Being irate + having mensuh took its toll on me.  I became exhausted and fell asleep for an hour.

When I woke up, I was good and hungry.  Luckily, ODB was ready to put the grill to work.  It was hamburgers, hotdogs, and nachos for supper.  As good as it was, I think I’m officially over nachos now.

On the way home, I was lost in my thoughts.  Overall, I was not pleased (putting it mildly) with the events that transpired over the weekend. Too bad it had to end like that…I will not be seeing Foofie next weekend.

Sorry for the delay.

Recipes from the OC Greekfest 2009, M. Foscari.

Tzatziki

1.5 cup Plain Yogurt strained overnight
1/2 medium cucumber, peeled, seeded, and shredded
1 teaspoon red wine vinegar
1 garlic cove minced
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
1/2 teaspoon Kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon white pepper

Strain the yogurt overnight with a paper towel-lined colander or place three paper towels on top of the yogurt, cover with a lid and turn it upside down to absorb the liquid overnight.
Toss the cucumber with a dash of salt and pepper in a colander and drain for 15 minutes.
In a separate bowl, add yogurt, cucumbers, and garlic.
Whisk them together with olive oil and white pepper.
Squeeze out any excess water from the cucumbers with your hands (remember to wash your hands prior to cooking), then stir the cucumbers into the yogurt mixture.
Season with salt.

Melitzanolsalata

1 large eggplant, peeled and sliced into rounds
1/2 medium onion diced
2 cloves sliced garlic
3/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
2 teaspoons Kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
2 tablespoons red wine vinegar

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.
Toss the eggplant, garlic, and onions with 1/2 cup of olive oil.
Bake the eggplant for 20 minutes or until softened.
Let the eggplant mixture cool down until it reaches room temperature.
Chop coarsely or put it into a food processor (pulse).
Add the remaining extra virgin olive oil, red wine vinegar, salt and pepper, until it is smooth.

As I was driving to Foofie’s, one of my homeboys called me.

He’s been under the weather due to his lack of employment, the relationship between him and his girlfriend, and his condo being in foreclosure.  He said that he’s submitted hundreds of resumes to different companies but still hasn’t gotten a job.  He’s even applied to Sears but was told that he was overqualified.  I suggested that he change his resume, tailoring it to the job he is looking for.  He said it wouldn’t make a difference and what was the point of him getting a minimum wage job.  I replied, “Some income is better than no income.”  He said that getting a useless job would hinder his chances of getting a better job. Umm…yeah.  I guess his expectation of getting a six figure job (sitting in an office and selling things (he used to be in the mortgage industry)) is unrealistic but he still believes it could happen.  When?  I don’t know.  Call me a realist or a Debbie Downer but with the economy the way that it is, his job prospects are looking bleak.

His girlfriend is stripping to make ends meet.  He’s not happy about it…but then again I don’t think most guys would be.  He can’t help support her financially cause of his lack of funds. It makes him depressed thinking about it.  She doesn’t come out with a lot of money if you think about it.  The tip out is 40% (money to the waitress, busboy, and the club).  The other day she came out with $40.  Ouch. That sucks…and she’s a pretty girl too.

We talked politics and that’s when it got REALLY touchy.  Both states, Illinois and California are in the shitter practically.  Both are broke.  Taxes are going up in each state.  He blamed it on the Democrats.  I blamed it on stupidity.  He thought that people in jail and prisons should not have electricity.  I said they shouldn’t be getting cable television nor have the opportunity to work out on bench presses to get bigger than the guards.  I would put all inmates to work, unless they were cleared for medical reasons.  This is a correctional facility, not the Hamptons.

I told him that if I were the president, I’d lean more towards socialism if I had no choice.  He said he would implement higher taxes for the poor.  I asked him how that would work considering that they are already poor.  I told him that I would raise taxes on the wealthy (not rich, but wealthy) and put more scrutiny into fradulent tax returns.  We got into a heated argument about that issue.  “So you’re a kid at school and get straight A’s…and as a reward, you give them more homework?  WTF Rosie?”  My response was, “If the government needs money and they’ve already cut everything they could including government employee salaries, taxing the poor isn’t going to work because they’d go into foreclosure and become homeless (they’re already poor as it is), thus no money for the budget.  At least by taxing the wealthy, they have more cushion than the poor to offset the increase in taxes.”

That’s when he told me that our telephone conversation was over and hung up.  Yeesh.

Do you witness traumatic things at your work?  I do every damn day.  Sometimes I wonder how much a person can take before he/she crrrrrrrrrrracks.

One of my coworkers used to work in a intensive (locked) psychiatric unit back in the days.  She told me that she’s seen doctors and nurses crack and were admitted to the unit on a 5150 (involuntary psychiatric hold when a person is a threat to themselves and/or others and/or gravely disabled).  I don’t think I could take it if I had to admit a coworker because he/she’s snapped.  That would be a very sad and scary day for me.

It was like a madhouse today at work.  Too many patients.  Not enough beds.  Many were transferred to other facilities once they’ve been stabilized. You would think that the time would have gone by with a quickness but it didn’t.  It was as if it stood still.  Pissed me off.

Call it coincidence, but it seems like whenever there’s a full moon, there’s a huge influx of psychotic patients.  Why is that? And yes, it looks like a full moon tonight…

“I’m going to kill myself and I have a plan.  The commanding auditory hallucinations tell me to kill myself.”
“I’m a diabetic and I haven’t eaten in a couple of days.  I haven’t checked my blood sugar in days.  I want to die.”
“I haven’t taken my anti-psychotic meds in over a month.  I think I need help.”

People tell me I should watch “Mental”.  Why the hell would I want to watch that on the tv when I can see it in real life?

A group of us like to play “House”.  Yeah, just like the television series.  Pranksabunches, do you do this too?  We’d sit there and collaborate with the attendings.  Discuss.  Ruminate.  And then make an educated guess on what so-and-so’s diagnosis is.  It’s a lot more fun when the cases are more severe and complicated.  It’s like a game to me…a puzzle.  I put all the pieces together and then I see the big picture.  But it’s not a game.  It’s people’s lives.

I broke down and had a cup of coffee and a grande soy no foam latte.  I had to…cause I was so sleepy…because I had I was being stupid, by staying up late the night before to to redeem myself on Bejeweled Blitz on Facebook (Lis beat my high score, how dare her! LOL).  Unforuntately, I assed out before I could bring on the pain (j/k).  Mission aborted…for now.